We flunked out of wizard school years ago.
You see, those stuffy old bearded wizards don’t want to teach you all of the really cool magic spells. They don’t want to teach you the spell that transforms your enemies into bugs and they definitely don’t want to teach you how to cast a spell that summons the full might of a meteor to rain terror upon the Earth. It comes with a black cloak, a vest, and a dickey.It turns out that headmasters don’t like it when you read books concerning the dark arts or when you start spouting plans of world domination.